PA TS keeping the baby

Here is the thread that has me riled up today:  http://www.surromomsonline.com/support/showthread.php?t=140507


Many SMO threads get me riled up, some are just worse than others.  This one isn’t a surprise.  The TS decided not to sign over rights.  It sucks for the IPs.  Every one is talking about contracts and kidnapping.  She can’t force the IF/dad to give up rights so she can be the sole parent.  I’m also fairly sure that despite the contract, they can’t force her to give up all rights.  I think the only way they could force rights termination is if the other parent was truly not safe and would not work to become safe.  I think the best outcome anyone can hope for at this point is shared custody.  What a nightmare.  I’m sorry the IPs were hurt.

That said, TS contracts in any states aren’t worth the number of trees you kill to print them.  It sucks for IPs but it’s reality.  There are only like 2 or 3 states that will do a PBO for TS and even in those, she has to be pregnant first and could simply refuse to agree to the PBO.  TS is a risk.  People jump into TS as fast as GS…but GS is pretty certain.  With TS, you only see the failures but those happen more frequently than GS.  People should be careful because that contract means very little. 

Now, I’m not likely to decide to parent.  I have my tubes tied for a very good reason.  I don’t want to parent any more children.  I can think of only one circumstance that I would question the hypothetical baby going home with her parents.  It is unlikely in the extreme and truthfully I don’t want to bring any babies into my home…but I would bring a baby home to protect it if absolutely necessary in one specific circumstance…but still only until social services could be involved.  But like I said, that circumstance is unlikely in the extreme; I know my IPs. 

What circumstance?  Abuse to the existing child/children in the family.  I’d call social services but I wouldn’t want the baby to go there until they had been cleared of abuse.  Or wait - I thought of a second but related circumstance:  if the existing child/children are removed from the family by social services during pregnancy, I would probably argue to keep the baby with me rather than let it go into the foster system until the parents can sort through their issues…and even then, I might hesitate. 

Does that make me a bad TS who will break my contract?  I guess so…but I’m okay with that.  I’d rather be a bad TS than have a child come back later and ask why I sent them to parents that were known to be abusive.  It won’t happen with J&S; they’re wonderful parents.