My IPs finished filling out the pre-contract questionnaire and sent it to me to review.  We're hoping that agreeing on things in the questionnaire will save us some contract revisions.  I only found three things in the questionnaire that may need changed and I'm waiting to hear back from my IM what their feelings are on the concerns I had.  Arcadia managed to have her first contract draft arrive and after review with her lawyer, she was willing to sign it without revisions.  I hope ours is so simple. 

This thread asked for advice about having IPs in the delivery room as something written into the contract.  It’s a long thread so I don’t know if you want to read the whole thing.  Towards the end, someone said it was “selfish” to put the desires and comfort of the surrogate above the IPs desire to witness the birth.  

I disagree strongly and said so.  My main argument being that a too strong adrenalin response (caused by fear or stress in the woman in labor) can cause labor to slow down or even stop.  This is a hormonal thing not under a woman’s control and is something that happens in other mammals as well.  To have a safe and effective labor, the woman needs to relax.  That’s the safest thing for the baby.  And so, I think it would be selfish on the part of the IPs to insist on their preferences for the birth as more important than a safe birth.  


For my first delivery, my mom was supposed to be one of my support people, and I had her kicked out.  She protested so strongly that the nurse had to threaten to call security.  But they got her out.  Anyway, I will not hesitate to kick out anyone who I feel is threatening a relaxed and safe labor whether it’s an IP, a particular nurse, or my own chosen support person.  Mostly, I expect this to be a moot point.  My labors are fast once they get started and I doubt a troop of dancing bears would bother me because I get so inward focused.   As long as they (the troop of dancing bears or the herd of med students or the IPs) don’t touch me, we’re cool.  

That has previously been an unpopular viewpoint with IPs…but that I’ve found 3 previous sets plus my current set shows that some IPs are willing to agree with my preferences on the matter.  I’m sure it will be an unpopular viewpoint on SMO and I’m just waiting to be blasted.  It’s no matter.  I get a lot of blastings on there, I’ve learned to mostly ignore them.  I wanted to voice what probably at least a few others think but wouldn’t say.  

What did surprise me is that this morning my IM found the thread and posted a comment.  Very supportive.  Very cool.  She really doesn’t post much so it surprised me.  My IM is an awesome IM.  

I just had to share…

My IM is an awesome IM.  Yea Jess!  The Psych appointment is scheduled for Friday April 17th in the afternoon.  And now, I can stop worrying about the scheduling of it...though I still have to worry about it...but even that worrying can wait a while longer.  I have over a month and that's just too long to worry.  

We can’t actually do contracts until closer to transfer.  I’m guessing June/July.  That’s fine.  I’m still waiting for my IPs to schedule the psych.  That is driving me nuts.  I understand, my IM is busy and there is plenty of time.  But she can schedule it when it’s convenient for them.  She’ll know when she’s scheduling it because she’s scheduling it.  For me, I’ll go whenever she schedules it because I’m committed to the process…but is it too much to ask for her to give me some sort of clue? 

I have training classes at work that I’d like to register for…but what if the psych is that day?  I don’t want to register for a class I won’t be there to take.  There’s a 6-week climbing refresher course that I’d love to sign up for…but it’s at 1:30 in the afternoon 3 days a week and if I alter my planned work schedule to accommodate the class, my boss will be a little less than tolerant if I take off those weeks since I have to ask for a special schedule.  My grandparents are going away for an entire month and invited munchkin and I to fly to join them for a few days.  I’d love to…but I can’t schedule that trip without knowing when we’re doing psych.  See the problem? 

I know I’m making it complicated.  Just schedule what I want and then make changes to accommodate the psych appointment.  But I hate to make changes in plans that are made, especially when those plans involve work (who might think I’m unreliable for needing changes) or my daughter (who will be really upset if I cancel a vacation promised to her).  So I wait and the longer I wait, the more likely it is that I won’t be able to do the things I want to do…and if I don’t do them and I don’t have psych during that time, I’ll be really annoyed with myself.
 
I hesitated to post this and it’s highly edited.   The blog post as it was originally can’t actually be posted on a public blog or shared at all.  But I wrote it anyway.  It can just lay around on my flash drive.  I started a folder on my flash drive called “Hidden Thoughts” for things I can’t post but just had to write anyway.  I suspect that with this journey, there will be a lot of files in that folder but it’s okay.  I have a place to put those thoughts so I can express them and then let them go.  That’s the important thing.