Warning - Vent!

We can’t actually do contracts until closer to transfer.  I’m guessing June/July.  That’s fine.  I’m still waiting for my IPs to schedule the psych.  That is driving me nuts.  I understand, my IM is busy and there is plenty of time.  But she can schedule it when it’s convenient for them.  She’ll know when she’s scheduling it because she’s scheduling it.  For me, I’ll go whenever she schedules it because I’m committed to the process…but is it too much to ask for her to give me some sort of clue? 

I have training classes at work that I’d like to register for…but what if the psych is that day?  I don’t want to register for a class I won’t be there to take.  There’s a 6-week climbing refresher course that I’d love to sign up for…but it’s at 1:30 in the afternoon 3 days a week and if I alter my planned work schedule to accommodate the class, my boss will be a little less than tolerant if I take off those weeks since I have to ask for a special schedule.  My grandparents are going away for an entire month and invited munchkin and I to fly to join them for a few days.  I’d love to…but I can’t schedule that trip without knowing when we’re doing psych.  See the problem? 

I know I’m making it complicated.  Just schedule what I want and then make changes to accommodate the psych appointment.  But I hate to make changes in plans that are made, especially when those plans involve work (who might think I’m unreliable for needing changes) or my daughter (who will be really upset if I cancel a vacation promised to her).  So I wait and the longer I wait, the more likely it is that I won’t be able to do the things I want to do…and if I don’t do them and I don’t have psych during that time, I’ll be really annoyed with myself.
 
I hesitated to post this and it’s highly edited.   The blog post as it was originally can’t actually be posted on a public blog or shared at all.  But I wrote it anyway.  It can just lay around on my flash drive.  I started a folder on my flash drive called “Hidden Thoughts” for things I can’t post but just had to write anyway.  I suspect that with this journey, there will be a lot of files in that folder but it’s okay.  I have a place to put those thoughts so I can express them and then let them go.  That’s the important thing.