Per the clinic, we need to do Quarantine time.  It sucks but such is life.  It appears that we'll have orientation and then wait 6 months from then.  Sigh...

Good News:  I can make my summer plans without worrying about pregnancy. 
Bad news: That's a long way away and I'm pretty annoyed.

There is a thread on SMO here:
http://www.surromomsonline.com/support/showthread.php?t=138646

I'm following it with interest.  I've considered adding my opinions but I'm not an experienced TS.  They would argue that my post-adoption feelings aren't relevant to the discussion.  And while I would agree that TS shows no similarities to an adoption from the closed "baby snatch" era, I think that the emotions are very likely to be similar to an open adoption. 

I wonder, if the emotions will be similar, why would I put myself through that again?  Why would anyone be a TS a second time?  I don't have an easy answer. 

This what I found as far as timeline.  

I'll get a period.
I'll have CD2 or 3 bloodwork
On or before CD5, I'll start birth control pills.
CD18, I'l probably start Lupron
CD26, I can expect Aunt Flo to visit

Then I'll have more bloodwork and a baseline ultrasound.  For a Carrier, they call that check "suppression check" but I'm not sure it's the same for an ED.  They want a GS to be very suppressed, the more, the better.  For an ED, it's a delicate balance trying to find just suppressed enough not to ovulate before trigger but not so suppressed that she can't make good eggs.

Stims then, 8-12 days before the trigger, 2 days from trigger to retrieval.  Bloodwork and ultrasounds every 2 days, then daily to monitor my progress.  

Retrieval and fertilization.  

Two to six days after that, transfer.

Beta 14 days after fertilization.  

Total from CD 1 of the cycle we decide to start on?  50 to 54 days, a little over 7 weeks.  But that's after we actively start.  I don't know when that will be.  I can't even make a guess and as you'd expect, not knowing is driving me crazy.  I'd rather know and have it be far away than be stuck in Limbo Land.  They gave me a start time but start what?  Start screening and contracts?  Start cycling with that AF?  What?  

Sigh... 

My IM's clinic consult got moved sooner.  It's not next week anymore.  Yikes!

My biggest worry is that no one will work with us because I weigh too much to be an egg donor.  That would be really upsetting.  

I actually had this whole (huge) list of questions to send with my IM to the consult.  But Delphi's mother pointed out that giving my IM the list was pretty untrusting and generally an arrogant thing for me to do.  Why should I assume that I'm smart enough to think of things she wouldn't?  Doesn't she have her own mind and important questions of her own?  And in this case, the Sparrow is right.   None of my questions are things that cannot wait.  This is her consult.  I have to trust her judgment on the clinic.  In general, I think my IM can be trusted to ask the questions that are important now even if she might miss a few cycle related questions that I wonder about.  There will be time for my questions when I have my screening with the chosen RE.

My IM emailed me last night telling me that she'd been thinking of the GTG and to get my opinion other going.  Since I've already told her, I'll tell you too.  I want her to come.  I've asked a few people involved in surrogacy that I know.
-She is pregnant and will be in her last trimester
-The one who is having another baby of her own doesn't have the money.
-And this one won't go anywhere within 50 miles of Atlanta for personal reasons.

My best friend would go with me if I asked.  Problem with that is that if she went, I wouldn't get to know anyone from SMO.  The two of us would wander off to explore Atlanta.  I wouldn't need to make friends with the SMO gals because I'd be busy and comfortable traveling with a friend.

I hate groups though.  And my IM would be perfect as a touchstone.  Someone I know when I get too uncomfortable with the group.  But not a best friend.  She's familiar, safe, but not so comfortable that I would stick by her side the whole trip.  

Now, I don't know if she'll go.  But I hope she does. 

I signed up to go to the National SMO GTG - Surro Mom Convention, I guess.  It's going to be awesome!  It's the weekend of my birthday!  I don't know if my IM has considered coming.  I didn't' ask because I don't want to seem like I'm pushing her to come or pushing her to not come.  I did let her know my plans though.  Depending when we cycle, it could be close to cycle time...or I could already be pregnant.  We'll see.  

The planners say up to 4 people can room together.  I think rooming with one would be cool, but not more than that.  I don't know how comfy I am with having a group sleep over with strangers...

A bunch of them will be staying at someone's house.  I was considering it but it got full up before I was positive that I would make the trip.  That's kind of sad but I know myself pretty well and I think I would be extra-overwhelmed if I was staying at someone's house.  My own hotel room will at least be a retreat when the group stuff gets to be too much. 

I joined Spark People again yesterday and posted a weigh in of “0 pounds lost”.  I’m not going to let silly panics about privacy keep me from the group that’s likely to motivate me.  Yes, it’s a big group.  Get over it already.  And while J was a reason for my initial hesitation, I’ve decided that I can’t let her presence intimidate me.  I’ll be okay.  She’s not really that scary.  And really, while the main motivation behind the weight loss is me (so I feel good) it will benefit her too if the cycle is better.  How can she possibly disapprove of it?

 

So it’s the waiting time.  Things I know need done:

---Weight loss

---My annual exam

---Find a clinic

            …local to one of us or at least convenient for both of us

            …willing to work with TS via IVF

            …reasonable BMI requirements for an ED (me)

            …willing to do single embryo transfer

            …do we need to re-do psych eval?

---Legal Logistics Questions

            …is there a way to make the PBO possible?

            …does the previous adoption make things more complicated?

            …will they need a home study for a step-parent adoption?

            …How does a contract work for “expenses only”?

---Contracts

 

The first two are my problem.  The second two are things I have to trust that J can handle.  And the last one is a mutual thing.  I’m practicing my patience because we’re in no hurry. 

I joined the SMO weight loss group on Spark People...and then I canceled my Spark People membership.

I should lose as much weight as possible before we start cycling.
---RE's prefer lower weight egg donors
---I'll gain weight during the cycle on the meds
---Less weight = Healthier pregnancy and a Happier me

So why did I cancel my account only a few minutes after joining?  I found that J has joined 7 minutes before I did.  Also, the group was around 45 members total from SMO.  I would have felt uncomfortable discussing weight loss with so many people.  I guess I'm a little strange.  I can discuss things with the SMO gals from sex to my menstrual cycle to child birth & lochia.  But I can't discuss weight loss.  It's odd how things rank on the privacy scale. 

I need to lose the weight anyway but I'll stick to the other site, the one with the membership fees and the private forums.

It's official and posted on SMO.  I will be doing a TS via IVF to carry a sibling for baby C.  Genetically, the baby will be baby C's half sibling as I will be donating half of the genetics.  But I'll also be carrying which makes it a TS. 

We're moving slowly and in no big rush.  I suck at waiting and being patient but I'm trying...and it's worth every minute of wait...

See, no need for that agency after all.  I've made an Indy match for TS via IVF.  My tubes are tied so I can't do TS any other way than with meds and an egg retrieval.

One of my main concerns with TS via IVF that you don't have with normal TS is the disposition of unused embryos but I've mentioned it to the IPs and they didn't object to my request:  The embryos created can be used by them (in me or another carrier) or they can be destroyed but they can't be donated.    They are for this particular couple and that's it.

I don't think anything big or concrete will be happening in the next couple of months.  We need a clinic and to discuss things and deal with contracts.  And we're just not in that big of a hurry. 

It's crazy, wonderful, and amazing.  I'm matched with the couple of my dreams!