Who was it for?

Today, on the premium section of SMO so I won't name names...someone thanked me for "giving baby C to J."  I know that the person and others who have said similar things mean well.  But why can't they understand? 

I didn't do it because J wanted to be a mom.  I did it so baby C could have the best family I could find.  J happened to be my first choice and it worked out but it wasn't for the parents. 

I don't know why now, almost 10 months post-placement such simple statements can still have the power to make me want to scream and in general lash out in anger and hurt.  How can people understand how much such statements hurt when they mean to praise and not wound?  They don't if no one tells them and I just don't know how...

I know this came about because there is a renewed focus on J & I since I agreed be a TS and carry C's sibling.  That choice was for the family.  Because I think J&S are great and should have more kids if they want them.  It's because I want to be the one to carry C's sibling and was thrilled to be considered.  But the original placement...that was for baby C, not the adults.