I found an interesting site for teaching children about money.  Have you seen it before?  It’s for kids who are from around my munchkin’s age to a few years older. 

Munchkin is not very good with money.  She seems to have an endless flow from the grandparents and the great-grandparents.  I tried to do an allowance to help teach her but I don’t think it’s made much of a difference.  Probably because when the allowance is gone, grandma or great-granddad or uncle W will give her more.  I have no idea how to stop the influx of money either.  They’re not large amounts to an adult but to a 7-year-old, they must seem huge. 

She has a savings account but I think teaching children about money is a bit more than just having a savings account.  It’s so important for them to learn to separate their needs and wants.  Munchkin isn’t good at that.  Perhaps it’s a symptom of only child syndrome?  But it’s not okay and I’m not really sure how to teach her better habits. 

So anyway, the website:  Kids Count: Teaching Children About Money
It’s mostly a financial literacy curriculum for schools and seems to be based out of Indiana but they have this game about separating needs from wants that I’m thinking about ordering, it can’t hurt.  And there’s a list of links under the parents tab that might be useful. 

I haven’t figured out how to control the grandparents or the aunts and uncles who seem to be Munchkin’s personal ATM machines but the site pointed me towards some things that might help me teach her good money habits despite their interference.  If we were home schooling, I’d try to get my hands on the curriculum too. 

I read this earlier today and this just now.  And as sometimes happens, it made me think and so I wrote and feel compelled to share.

 

I hope for my daughter: 

That the information she gets about sex is accurate and with minimal bias.

That she understands that her body belongs to herself and no one else. 

That she has sex when she feels ready, whether that’s “early” or “late.” 

That she never feels forced or coerced.  

That she has safe and easy access to both birth control and condoms. 

That she feels comfortable talking to me. 

That if she feels she can’t talk to me, she can find someone else to listen.

 

Of course, my daughter is seven and for her, these decisions and discussions are far in the future.  But the future comes faster than we expect. 

The Good
Yesterday, Munchkin had her first T-ball practice.  I took the dog along.  Munchkin has a good throwing arm but a lack of attention.  I spent the whole practice worrying that she would get hit in the head with a ball she didn’t see was coming because she was picking at the grass.  Casper was my good boy and allowed the whole team to surround and pet him.  I stopped things when he started to look a little stressed but he wouldn’t have been able to deal with it for even a little while 6 months ago …yea Casper! 

 

In our Manners class, there is:

-A female black lab who is three years old and pretty well behaved.

-A male standard labradoodle – 9 months old - very bouncy and friendly

-A male German Shepherd mix – mostly friendly but not very controlled.  He’s a rescue.

-A female Maltese – she is also a rescue.  For her first year she was a puppy mill dog; she lived in a tiny cage and had a litter before she was a year old.  Now, she’s just really timid.

-A Jack Russell Mix puppy – 6 months old, very bouncy, barks the whole class. 

-And Casper who is my darling puppy love but is really a dunce on leash behaviors.  He sits, lays down, begs, dances, crawls, and is slowly understanding “roll over” but he thinks he has to be at the end of any leash he’s walking on whether it’s 6 feet or 25 feet.   

 

Class is a little crazy with that many dogs but it’s good for Casper.  He needs practice paying attention to me. 

 

Today, I went to pick up my rats.  They are pure cuteness.  They’re just weaned so they’re still pretty small and being female, probably won’t get too huge.  I love their teeny tiny little hands and the way they hold food while they nibble.  They’re from a breeder who handles all of the little ratlings at least twice per day.  The parents were both super friendly and the little darlings swarmed out of their cage and up my arm as soon as the cage door was opened.  I’m in love. 

 

They haven’t yet been introduced to the dog or the rabbits yet.  I want to give them time to settle in and feel safe before I add new scary things. 

 

Tomorrow I have game.  After that session, I should (if I’m lucky) have enough experience to learn the second level of Protean.  Once my character learns that, she’ll be able to grow claws.  That’s an important thing because being a woman she’s not expected to carry a sword.  She can carry concealed knives or daggers but they don’t do as much damage.  The only weapon she has that will deal aggravated damage (harder for other supernaturals to heal) is her teeth and it’s hard to bite someone in the middle of a fight.  Claws will be better. 

The Bad

I was on my way home from picking up the rats when my sister called me.  They had to call an ambulance for my grandmother.  I'm guessing from the description that it was a stroke...but I'm not a doctor and the hospital just says that they have to do more tests.  I'm waiting by the phone for updates.  I thought about going down to the hospital but I don't think I could be much help.  I'd probably just be in the way.  Mom is with Nana and I've done my shae of sitting in teh hospital with mom.  If they need me there, they can call me. 

Yesterday. 

Concession Stand Committee Meeting.  Yuck.  People who have their children late in life by choice or by chance just seem so odd sometimes to me.  There are so many differences.  That’s not bad, but sometimes, it makes it hard to relate to them.  I am, predictably, the youngest.  I know of only one mom in the district with a second grade child who is younger than I am.  Even the kindergartener moms are usually older than me. 

They’ve had life experiences.  They lived in dorms, maybe did a lot of traveling and spring break stunts, are working at higher levels in their chosen career or can afford to have one parent staying at home.  When they were my age, they may have been partying all night or working 60 hour weeks.  They look at me and they see themselves at my age so of course, I must be that carefree irresponsible person that they were.  I have friends now who are my age and barely more responsible than some teens.  They see their experiences and it blinds them to my reality. 

Yes, I’m twenty five.  No, I’m not the person they were.  I never had a chance.  I’ve been mom.  And while I’ve had my share of partying and wild behavior, I always knew that there had to be money and time for the munchkin.  My moments were stolen, carefully planned in advance so I could have a sitter, paid for in guilt because I wasn’t with the munchkin. 

And even those who realize that truth about me and understand how the life of a teen parent shapes us, they pity us because they only see what we missed.  They only see the hurts and the hard times.  They see toys that they provide that I couldn’t.  They see that I couldn’t stay home, don’t have time to volunteer in the classroom, don’t go to PTA meetings and they can’t imagine their life without those things.  They’ve grown into them and they enjoy them. 

But they don’t understand that at 25, my family is finished.  I had a slower start than they did to college and career but I’ll never have to derail my career to take care of an infant.  As my work becomes more demanding, my child will be becoming more self-sufficient.  My daughter will be going to college when I’m 36.  And I’ll have the rest of my life left ahead of me to enjoy. 

But some of them are as old as my parents, or older and they can be so d*mn condescending that it drives me nuts.  It’s just like the brownie troop parents and I hate it already but I can’t keep munchkin from participating just because I don’t want to deal with the parents.  Sigh…

I think even a young child can understand TS but I think it needs to be brought up gradually and I think what it means to them emotionally will change as they get older.  With my Munchkin, it was a series of seemingly unrelated conversations that started years ago when she was understanding how babies are made.  Also, we used the correct terms for everything from the beginning though it was a personal preference, not necessity.  

Egg + sperm = embryo.  If the embryo has a nice uterus to grow in, it can become a baby.  My daughter at around 3 thought this was like baking a cake, which was when we had the discussion.  Put the ingredients in the bowl and they're cake batter.  Put the batter in the oven for the right amount of time, and it's a cake. 

Ways to get a sibling (this was 3 different conversations) – Sara's sister was adopted from China.  (We adopted an already made bear from Boyds.)  Trinity's sister grew in her mother's uterus from an embryo.  (We built a bear.)  My youngest sister became my sister when her dad married my mom. 

Siblings that don't live together – J is my half-brother because my dad's sperm also made him but he has a different mother.  We didn't live together growing up but he's still my brother. 

  ...........................

Puppies going to new homes.  (I hated to compare babies to puppies but she started the conversation when she was four.) 

"Grandpa B's puppies are disappearing!"

"No sweetheart.  The puppies are going home to live with their new owners."

"Why are they going?"

"Because Grandpa B can't take care of 5 puppies and these people have time for a puppy and really want one."

"Like you couldn't take care of Raven and Morrigan?" (ummm…)

"Yes.  Their mommy and daddy could take care of them better."

"Will they come back?"  (Are we talking about the babies or the puppies?)

"No.  But the people will send Grandpa B information about how they're growing and what they're like, maybe pictures."

"Will he get to see them like I see Raven?"

"I don't know."

"Can we go ride the pony now?"

  ..............................

Gestational surrogacy (before my 2006 miscarriage):  we talked about how the embryos they had put in me were eggs from the mom and sperm form the dad but the mom's uterus wasn't a safe place for babies to grow so I was going to be an embryo-sitter until the baby was big enough to come out and go home with his or her parents.  We also (in a separate conversation) discussed how the doctors combine eggs and sperm and grow the embryo in the lab until they're ready to go into a uterus. 

  ......................................

The brother of my sister is not my brother: 

"Mom, Morrigan is my sister."

"Yes.  She's your sister because she's made from mommy's eggs and daddy's sperm."

"Morrigan is "P's sister too."

"Yes, she's P's sister because their parents are raising them together and they live in the same house."

"So P must be my brother."

"No.  P isn't genetically related to you or growing up as your brother so he's not your brother.  You just share a sister."  I sketched a quick family tree with Morrigan joining the two families. 

"You should add some leaves.  Trees need leaves."  (okay.)

  .................................

When I matched as a TS: We talked about how some people want kids and can raise them but their bodies can't have them.  I covered the GS process again in a little more depth (since it had been two years) and then I explained that this mommy couldn't use her eggs so I was going to help by letting them use one of mine and carrying the baby.  It clicked right away that if my egg was used, it would be her sibling but not living with us and she compared it to my brother J.  We discussed half-siblings and left it at that for the day. 

  ..................................

Yesterday, she asked some process questions (like: does it hurt when they take the eggs out?  No.  I'll be sleeping.  Does it hurt when they put the embryo in? No, the doctor is very careful.)  and asked when I was going to get big again and I explained that we had a long wait before the doctor would do the procedure but I'd let her know.

 

Now…I still haven't explained that the family my next baby will go home with is Baby C's family…but we'll get to that.  One part at a time. 

In my daughter’s classroom, each child shares something every week.  Sometimes they have an assigned topic but mostly, they just talk about whatever they want and can bring things in to share.  I got a phone call from the teacher today about my daughter’s sharing. 

As soon as I saw the school’s number, I knew why they were calling.  Munchkin and I talked about this last night and she was determined to share her story about my sister’s cat.  I tried to explain that some students might not understand and she couldn’t understand why they wouldn’t understand.  To her, it was simple and true.  I had misgivings…but she was stubborn and the sharing is supposed to be about what they want to tell.  She was so proud that she helped Auntie with the training by manning the water gun.  So I helped her find pictures and sent her in.

What was the story?  One of my sister’s tom cats was a serious bit of trouble and he was spraying urine everywhere in her apartment.  She tried lots of different things but eventually, the decision was made to get him snipped.  After that, they still had to work to get him not to spray and now he’s doing much better and my sister’s apartment smells good. 

Except, you have to know my daughter. Or maybe just 7-year-olds.  Everything is dramatic.  “and no matter what Aunt….. tried, he just wouldn’t stop spraying urine on the walls and it was yuck! So she took him to the cat doctor and the vet chopped off Rascal’s testicles.  That’s supposed to make him a better pet and he is nicer now and only urinates in the litter box.”  Her presentation was completed by three photos of the back end of Rascal, pre-surgery, the day after surgery, and all healed up. 

The sharing is supposed to encourage good public speaking habits and to show the diversity of the people in the classroom. It does and I bet it also shows a wide-range of parenting styles as well.  Some will be distinctly unhappy but I just don’t care.  I told the teacher so too.  Sheltering kids too much does them no good.  They should be glad that I vetoed the very graphic birth pictures of the kittens sired by the tom before his snipping.   

This time of year there is so much going on that it's hard to concentrate on any one thing for long.  My immeidate supervisor is a moody bully...but his boss is understanding and will settle things if they get too bad.  A 5th grade on my daughter's bus has been pretty mean to her but unfortuantely kids are mean.  She was handling it herself (at her request) until he hit her in the face with a slush ball today.  I called the bus company and I hope he gets in trouble.

Ms. Arcadia (her SMO screen name) is planning to post a surrogacy ad and has a website put together but her plan for no comp means they're going to beat down her door and flood her email.  I don't think she's prepared for the responses she'll get but I can't do anything except warn her.  I hope she finds what she's looking for in IPs but she's going to have to wade through a lot of the wrong ones to find the right couple.  Good luck Em!

(She helped me set up this site too...what do you think?)