Visits

Tomorrow, I'll see Baby C.  Her parents are having her birthday party a day early.  It's going to be crazy.  I almost can't believe that I agreed to go. Am I a masochist to go do the things that are hardest and hurt me the most?  Huge gathering of too many people I don't know.  Plus Baby C on the day before her birthday.  That day last year was her last day safe inside of me.  Some days hit harder than others.  Munchkin will not be going, partially for me and partially for her.

I haven't seen Raven or Morrigan since the November visit with both of them.  Haven't talked to them either except that Morrigan's brother did text me a really cute picture of their mom and Morrigan on Valentine's day.  He's a teenager, they like text messages.  

If thing go according to pattern, Raven's mom will contact me within a month or so.  She gets quiet in the winter when the kids get sick more and the days are short.  The first year, we met once when Raven was 11 months old and in that terrible phase when she was afraid of strangers.  It tore me apart, but her mom was pretty cheerful.  Her second year, we visited 4 times.  Her third year, 6 times.  Her fourth year, we visited 4 times - August, October, the early November visit with Morrigan's family, and June.  This year (R is 5!) I saw them in November at the visit with Morrigan's family and I haven't seen them since.  The lack of contact doesn't suprise me.  I've found Raven's mom to be highly unpredictable and Raven has her own opinion of things too.  She doesn't really know me but she does like to play with Munchkin.  Munchkin likes to play with her too, misses her, and wants me to call her often.  I let her wwrite letters but don't send them.   I wonder in the quiet times if I should contact her...but I never do because I don't want to intrude and I'll hide if I can.  

Morrigan's mom will contact me in May with just a link to spring pictures.  And again in the summer with vacation pictures.  Munchkin's dad will be in their area in July for a gamer geek thing and I know they plan to capture him for at least a short while.  If we're lucky, they'll visit in the fall again.  I know I could go visit and they'd welcome it but I never have.  It's a long drive.  I could contact them more often too.  Morrigan's mom and I used to email on a regular basis and talk abotu all sorts of things.  But at that first joint visit, Morrigan's mom and Raven's mom exchanged contact information...and I haven't chatted with Morrigan's mom casually since.  I can't keep them from talking, why would I want to?  But if I email one and don't email the other, will they tell and what will they think?  Contacting Morrigan's mom wouldn't be seen as an intrusion, but contacting Raven's mom might.  

They haven't met Baby C's mom yet.  I told them by letter the cowards way after TPR was already done but we haven't talked about it.  At some point, we probably have to talk and they'll all meet but I'm not in a hurry.  I don't want to do it at all.