Relationships

Relationships are strange things, ever changing and complex.  I was afraid of Raven’s parents for years.  I still feel a vague wariness and a sadness that they don’t like me.  They’re unpredictable and sometimes hurtful.  They’re Raven’s parents but I don’t feel any particular closeness to them, only the tolerance for an aunt or a cousin that I don’t particularly like but have to see at family reunions anyway.  Morrigan’s parents are politely distant, consistent in their expectations from me and keeping their promises but otherwise unpredictable.  I like them and can relate to them about some things other than Morrigan.  We don’t talk often and I wouldn’t say we’re close or even friends but I do like them for themselves. C’s parents are different.  I want to trust them and be close to them.  I like them.   Especially C’s mom who I had known online for a while.  I start to trust and fall into the cheerful banter of friends; I feel like I can talk to them about anything.  Then, I panic and pull back.  My experience with a-parents has led me to believe that they are dangerous and unpredictable creatures.  Why should this set be any different?  Then I flip the thinking around.  Why aren’t the other families like this one that I’ve only known for a short time?  And then I give up trying to compare.  I try to live in the now.  I take C’s parents at face value as themselves until the next wave of uncertainty hits.   They’re getting less frequent as the months pass but last night, one attacked me.  This morning, I’m over it and my worries seem silly.  Good for me.