Munchkin's Choice

Why is she so interested in seeing one sibling but not in seeing the other?  Is it because she’s older now?  Or simply because of the age difference in general?  

Munchkin always asks about Raven and Raven’s sister.  What are they doing now?  Have you heard from their mom?  When can we go see them?  But I don’t know if her desire is to see Raven, or do the things we do when we get together.  Land of Little Horses.  Hershey park.  Boyd’s Bears.  Kid stuff that they all enjoy because they’re so close in age. 

She occasionally asks about Morrigan.  When she thinks of it, she will ask to call or will write a note to send.  That’s fine.  When we were visiting with both families back in November, she refused to stand close for pictures.  Why?  It doesn’t matter.  I closed ranks with her and insisted to the a-moms that if she didn’t want one, they didn’t get to push her or point a camera in her direction.  

Baby C is a year old and she still hasn’t met her.  I get the same response every time I mention a meeting.  That whiny “Mom do I have to go?”  That same tone of voice and phrase that she uses when I need to go to several errands at once or stop at a friends’ house that’s an hour away and she’s stuck coming along.    

I’d like her to meet Baby C’s parents and Baby C.  I feel that especially with the surrogacy on the horizon I really want her to just be comfortable with them.  Munchkin’s dad though thinks that especially with the surrogacy, we shouldn’t push her.  He goes back to my cousin comparison. 

“If they were cousins, would I let her see one cousin more than another if she had fun with one and didn’t want to see the other?”

And the answer is, “Yes.”  Actually, come to think of it, she does it with some of her cousins.  She’s mostly interested in the ones within a few years of her age. 

I want to argue that they’re not cousins…they’re bio-siblings.  And if they were siblings living in the same household, they’d have to learn to get along…but really, how much would a 7 year old play with a 1 year old?  I asked mom how much I played with my youngest sister…and she pointed out that I spent most of my time growing up trying not to have to play baby stuff with her.  Fair enough.

So for now, her choice prevails.